I remember thinking that the trees look less colorful than a time before and I think that’s when the depression started. I must have been six or seven. Smart enough school wasn’t that much of a challenge and I made it to the age of 19 when my life kind of went to sleep.
I had finished an education as a graphic designer and found myself unable to put together a resume and get a job.
Until 2009, I tried to survive on my art but was never able to do so. Then I went to university, trying to turn my life around in a massive effort. Changed places, left my boyfriend and went to university everyday. Again smartness was enough when I had to think my way through the assignments, but I failed horribly when I tried to memorize things for the exams.
At the end of 2013 I failed my last exam and in january I was ready to leave this world out of desperation. “I would never be good enough to fit in this world” was my thought.
First I wanted to cutmyself, then I wanted to destroy my kittchen, and then I just got drunk and sat passively in front of my beloved pc. I was addicted to my computer. Anyways, I then called some hotline the next day and sought help.
This followed about 4 years of therapy and emotional self control traing for 6 months, it helped a bit.
2017 I got sick in august, some flu or so, and since I was sleeping all day anyways, I decided to give keto a try and on top of the illness I felt like shit from the keto flu. BUT at the same time my energy levels went through the roof. The depression lifted within a week and the cold went away a few days later.
In new years eve, my friends started basically screaming at me to not do it. In January I went full carnivore and my friends stopped responding to all my messages, which makes me sad but I don’t want to kill myself over it anymore.
Now, half a year later on carnivore diet, my life is much more stable, I’ve put together a resume and started applying for jobs.
If you have something to do for an artist/ungraduated computer science student, let me know.
